Friday, June 01, 2007

Self-Help from The Prince of Pinot

I know it's kind of lame to simply quote an entire piece from another blogger, but this is just too good. Check it out - Rusty's new self-help guide. These next couple of paragraphs might change your life!

From the most recent Pinot File newsletter:

Stop Hiding and Start Living With Pinot Noir

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask the Prince about Pinot Noir. Pinot Noir is the safe and natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. PinotNoir can ease you out of your shyness and overcome any obstacles. Pinot Noir will let you show the world you are ready to do almost anything. Shyness and awkwardness will become a thing of the past. Discover the many talents you never knew you had. You will notice the benefits of Pinot Noir almost immediately. A regimen of regular doses of Pinot Noir will allow you to live life the way you want to. Stop hiding and start living with Pinot Noir.

Caution: Pinot Noir is not for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Pinot Noir, but women who wouldn’t mind being pregnant or nursing are encouraged to try it. Side Effects: Loss of money, loss of clothing, loss of virginity, loss of motor control, desire to dance like a retard or perform table dancing, heightened erotic lustfulness, may cause pregnancy, may make you think you can play all-night strip poker, may make you think you can sing, may give you the illusion you are tougher, stronger or better looking than others, may make you think ex-lovers are dying for you to call them at 4 in the morning, may give you the illusion that people are laughing with you, and may be a factor in getting your butt kicked. So what are you waiting for? Stop hiding and start living with Pinot Noir!


Joe said...

You mean I can't sing?!

Brooklynguy said...

You can sing, yes Joe. He wasn't referring to you, or to people from Canada as a rule.